I Recently Have Discovered The Meaning of Life.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I lied.

I Guess We'll Just Have To Adjust

Or maybe we should keep driving Hummers.

I'm beginning to question the so-called pragmatism surrounding the issue of global warming. In all truth, it's a pretty simple situation that calls for (demands like Al Pacino for the money in Dog Day Afternoon) a very, very simple solution.

Number 1: Keep Plants
Number 2: Cut Down On Polution
Number 3: Reduce Your Carbon Emissions
Number 4: Sacrifice Your First Born Son to Ba'al

Really, it's not that much to ask. Just don't cut down more trees than you plant, vote for legislators that will impose stricter regulations on pollution and emissions, use a website to adjust your own carbon imprint, and take your firstborn out to the field of Raz Kahn-Ghul, chant the sacred text three times and sacrifice him on the rocks of Ghul-Nomandh.

Speaking of sacrifice, is it really that hard to stop driving Hummers? I mean, when's the next time you really need a vehicle that has the capacity to carry a 50-mm machine gun on the roof?

Seriously, when they say "Speed Limit Enforced By Aircraft", it's just a lie to get you to drive 65, they aren't going to unleash a barrage of 4 tomahawk missiles at your vehicle.

Although, if you're getting 8 miles to the gallon on the highway, maybe we should.

Let's make an addition to the list:

Number 5: Elect Dick Cheney to a Legislature, He'll be sure to shoot something.